My Justice League Film

*things to note - Kent is at work at Columbia Pictures, I am getting ready to go to my ultra-serious media moguls class. and with that, i present, my JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA film:

RoamingJoker: I think once DC establishes their main franchises, they should do a JLA movie.
RoamingJoker: They have Batman started, Superman in production, and Wonder Woman in the works
RoamingJoker: Plus the Flash, and I'm sure GL will be not far behind
Kent: i still don't see it
Kent: too many characters
RoamingJoker: Just those five
Kent: you write it
RoamingJoker: Want me to?
Kent: if you have a chance of getting it made
Kent: i don't want the task of having to deal with condensing those characters into blurbs
RoamingJoker: Well the focus has to be on relationships
RoamingJoker: Batman vs Superman, Green Lantern vs. the Flash
RoamingJoker: Wonder Woman vs. Aquaman
Kent: no fucking aquaman
RoamingJoker: lol
RoamingJoker: I knew I could get you there
Kent: how the hell do you have him help defeat the bad guys at the end
Kent: it's the rule of superhero team movies
Kent: everyone has to help
RoamingJoker: Hahahaha
Kent: use their powers to defeat the guy
RoamingJoker: A swarm of seagulls
RoamingJoker: Like the cavalry arriving
RoamingJoker: Superman: What's that sound?
RoamingJoker: Wonder Woman: I don't know ... it sounds like
Kent: (Flash rolls his eyes)
RoamingJoker: Flash rolls his eyes
RoamingJoker: GL: Seagulls!
Kent: (Green Lantern puts up a giant green middle finger)
RoamingJoker: lol
RoamingJoker: GL has to be Jack Black, though
Kent: superman will give aquaman some random ass task just to get him out of the way
Kent: like, they'll defeat the bad guy, and aquaman will show up with 500 pounds of kelp
RoamingJoker: Superman: Arthur, go to the bottom of the ocean. We need to be sure that the water there is very cold ... or the plan will never work.
RoamingJoker: Aquaman: But ... why do the water -
RoamingJoker: Batman: Arthur DO IT NOW!
Kent: quick! we need sand from the bottom of every ocean!
RoamingJoker: HAHAHAHA
Kent: green lantern! go get it!
RoamingJoker: lol
Kent: aquaman: no, this is somethign i alone must do
Kent: batman: godspeed, arthur.
RoamingJoker: Flash rolls his eyes.
RoamingJoker: Oh
Kent: he leaves, they laugh, and get on with things of consequence
RoamingJoker: We have to make the Flash gay.
RoamingJoker: He could be that flamer from Will and Grace
RoamingJoker: And GL is Jack Black.
Kent: no, he's gay and asian
RoamingJoker: Wonder Woman is Kirsty Allen.
RoamingJoker: Superman is Harrison Ford
Kent: so he wears a red masquerade mask and a gymnast outfit
RoamingJoker: And Batman is Adam West
Kent: alec baldwin is superman
RoamingJoker: Aquaman is obviously Sean Connery.
RoamingJoker: Yeah
RoamingJoker: Baldwin's better for the role, you're right
Kent: no i think aquaman should be genuinely heroic looking
Kent: everyone else is just wrong
RoamingJoker: lol
RoamingJoker: HAHAHAHA
Kent: richard dreyfuss is martian manhunter
RoamingJoker: James Earl Jones is Darkseid.
RoamingJoker: Robin Williams is Kalibak.
Kent: christopher walken is desaad
RoamingJoker: No, no ... he's Orion
RoamingJoker: Ru Paul is Desaad.
Kent: nono, robin williams is also orion
RoamingJoker: lol
RoamingJoker: Yeah
RoamingJoker: Perfect
Kent: in fact, robin williams is everybody
Kent: except batman
RoamingJoker: Of course.
Kent: i mean, let's get serious
RoamingJoker: But he provides the voice of the batsuit
Kent: yeah, the belt talks like in blankman
RoamingJoker: Batsuit: Batman, we're NEVER, EVER, NEVEREVERNEVEREVER gonna make this jump.
Kent: dakota fanning is robin
RoamingJoker: Oooh, good casting.
Kent: and she has a horse
RoamingJoker: You know what we need to do? Get a time machine.
Kent: because girls like horses
RoamingJoker: And get Moe Shemp to be Lex Luthor.
RoamingJoker: No, better
RoamingJoker: Keep Kevin Spacey as Lex (cause you need a good actor in there somewhere) and use the three stooges AS STOOGES.
Kent: 1970s era orson welles
RoamingJoker: Orson Welles as the Joke.
RoamingJoker: *joker
Kent: and we'll force him to do acrobatic fighting moves
Kent: he's the riddler
Kent: the clothes are tighter
RoamingJoker: Halfway through the movie, he has a heartattack
RoamingJoker: Yeah
Kent: gregory peck is the joker
RoamingJoker: Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon as Two-Face
RoamingJoker: We digitally cut them in half and past them together.
Kent: oh that's good
RoamingJoker: Yeah, the Odd Couple - in one body
Kent: i think jack lemmon should be the evil side
RoamingJoker: Well, Matthau's uglier.
RoamingJoker: But ok
Kent: so he comes across as more schlubby in general
RoamingJoker: lol
RoamingJoker: Arnold has to reprise his role as Mr. Freeze.
RoamingJoker: But this time, he doesn't have a suit to keep him cold
Kent: TOM ARNOLD
RoamingJoker: He has to use a big refridgerator
RoamingJoker: Tom Arnold as the Penguin.
RoamingJoker: So he could push around the refridgerator.
RoamingJoker: And there could be rolling blackouts that cause the fridge to not work.
Kent: no, arnold's feet stick out the bottom
RoamingJoker: And they could make inside jokes about how Arnold said he was going to fix CAHLIFOHNIUH.
RoamingJoker: RICHARD GERE AS DOOMSDAY!
Kent: they're going to have to make special theatres for this movie
Kent: the seats have special claws to poke you, hard, in the kidneys
RoamingJoker: LOL
Kent: and speakers to simulate children crying in your ears
RoamingJoker: Hahaha
RoamingJoker: And you can't wear shoes
RoamingJoker: The floor is a metal plate with water on it
Kent: and they coated the floors with popcorn butter?
RoamingJoker: And they occasionally give you electric shocks
Kent: the plan is to collect the tears from all the children in teh audience, sell them, and finance a musical sequel
RoamingJoker: Perfect.
RoamingJoker: But at the end of the film, Superman hasn't been involved at all.
RoamingJoker: He's been at home baking.
RoamingJoker: And the entire JLA arrives at his house after defeating the Rogues Gallery of Batman villains and the evil New Gods from Apokolips.
RoamingJoker: And they're all exhausted ... and Superman says, "oh, I'm sorry guys, I was so busy I didn't hear my emergency signal go off. But I baked you all some nice JLA cookies!"
RoamingJoker: And he sets down a plate with cookies with everyone's logo on it
RoamingJoker: Except Aquaman.
Kent: aquaman makes a fish-related pun, and superman punches a whole through his head
Kent: the end
RoamingJoker: Perfect.
RoamingJoker: Ok, I gotta go write that script now.
Kent: i expect associate producer credit at least
RoamingJoker: Co-Writer.
RoamingJoker: You think I can handle all the witty jokes myself?
Kent: i'll need an alias
Kent: lemme think
RoamingJoker: I'm clever, but this project will be huge - oh, me too.
Kent: most good names have a metal in them
Kent: and something ethnic
Kent: for the first name
Kent: i don't know
Kent: georg
Kent: ludvig
Kent: oh wait
Kent: akiva
Kent: that's a good one
Kent: and then teh metal for the last
RoamingJoker: Caleb Aluminium.
Kent: i think like, silver
Kent: or gold
Kent: gold - howabout goldsman?
Kent: i've got it
Kent: "Akiva Goldsman"
RoamingJoker: Oh, I was thinking William Goldman.
RoamingJoker: But that works.
Kent: you know who that is, right
RoamingJoker: Yeah
RoamingJoker: Both of them.
Kent: so close in name, yet so far in talent
RoamingJoker: LOL, we should use those names and write it anyway
RoamingJoker: And people online would be like, wtf?