Principles

A friend of mine used to say, "Your principles only mean something if you stand by them when they're inconvenient." What principles are worth standing by, though? Are they fluid? Can they change from instance to instance?

I have always believed in being loyal to your employer. I don't know why, but I have. From the moment a company hires me, I develop an attachment to it that makes me want to do two things: a) do well and b) never leave. The relationships that certain companies foster come from the offset - companies I stay with for long periods of time are companies that welcomed me into the fold from as early as the interviewing process; by contrast, any company I stay with for less than a month is usually a company that didn't welcome me too greatly or treat me like one of their own.

The latter category includes only one company to date: Home Depot. I think, though, that at the time, my leaving had more to do with my feeling as though I didn't belong there. The company was a good company, the people were good people, but I didn't belong there. And now, I have that same feeling with Starbucks. The company is great, the people are fantastic ... but I don't feel like I belong. I'm the odd man out - and that's not really an understatement. By contrast to the other employees, I'm at least a head and a half taller than everyone.

You know, people have told me that I should get a job because I need money. People have told me that I'm "lazy." I've been seeking work for almost a year now. I've applied at about 15-20 restaurants alone since last July. I've applied at three retail stores, including Starbucks. But there's only been one place I've wanted to work: Chilis. Corn, the training manager, gave me his assurance just a few days ago that I would be hired within a month (they're currently weeding out the 'bad' employees). And while they've been jerking me around for three months solid now, for some reason, I believe that statement. I believe he means to hire me by the end of April.

Which means that now I face a crisis of principle: Do I leave Starbucks before I waste more of their time (and they more of mine) or do I wait until I talk with Corn again about setting up training? If I called him tomorrow and talked to him about coming in before the end of the month, do I quit then, or do I wait? Should I give two weeks notice, or quit now, since I am still a trainee?

None of this takes into account my busy school schedule. By far, the biggest issue I have with work in general is that it interferes with school. I have a presentation on Same-Sex Marriage to make on Tuesday for a discussion panel, but I don't have a presentation planned. I have an incomplete to earn a grade for from last semester, but no time to do volunteer work or plan out a paper as a substitution. I have a film shoot in 6 weeks, no set location, no budget, no loans, no cast. I have more shit to do than I really have time for, and now I'm spending my weekends working at Starbucks? I don't even drink coffee anymore, dammit!

What do I do? What should I do?

Above all, my films come first. This is my future, and I do nothing to jeopardize it.
After that, my schoolwork comes next.
Finally, my creative work - my screenwriting - is very important.

Beyond those, I know I need money and I know I need time to relax. So, what do I do?

To me, the answer is painfully obvious: despite my monetary needs, there are greater needs - needs for my future. Already my schoolwork and film work are suffering. I think I may have to quit working at Starbucks.