Frustration
I'm unbelievably frustrated:
1. I'm on my tenth draft of my advanced project and it's not any easier than the first nine drafts.
2. I have no money because I have no job because the place I worked at treated me like shit.
3. I have a ton of free time now but I can't force myself to write during a given "free" afternoon.
4. I've been staying up until 5AM and sleeping until 2PM - I'm wasting some of the better parts of the day.
5. Our apartment is still piled up with unopened boxes and the walls are still unpainted and bare of shelves and decoration.
I just want to fucking leave this place for a weekend and go somewhere that I don't know anybody, with a rinky-dink fucking typewriter, leaving all semblance of modern technology behind so that I can get my mind on the only thing I care about at the moment - my script. If I can get this new draft done, I know I'll have it where I want it - able to be broken down and budgeted out.
People talk about "passion" all the time, as though it were the only thing that can get you to your goal - "You have to have passion," "You have to be passionate about what you write." Fuck that. Passion doesn't pay the bills or ease your troubled mind ... passion simply makes success that much more glorious - to see an idea you love take shape and come to fruition is a fantastic thing. It takes more than passion to do right by your creative mind, and I hope I've got all the other things it takes. My passion doesn't seem to be enough these days.
1. I'm on my tenth draft of my advanced project and it's not any easier than the first nine drafts.
2. I have no money because I have no job because the place I worked at treated me like shit.
3. I have a ton of free time now but I can't force myself to write during a given "free" afternoon.
4. I've been staying up until 5AM and sleeping until 2PM - I'm wasting some of the better parts of the day.
5. Our apartment is still piled up with unopened boxes and the walls are still unpainted and bare of shelves and decoration.
I just want to fucking leave this place for a weekend and go somewhere that I don't know anybody, with a rinky-dink fucking typewriter, leaving all semblance of modern technology behind so that I can get my mind on the only thing I care about at the moment - my script. If I can get this new draft done, I know I'll have it where I want it - able to be broken down and budgeted out.
People talk about "passion" all the time, as though it were the only thing that can get you to your goal - "You have to have passion," "You have to be passionate about what you write." Fuck that. Passion doesn't pay the bills or ease your troubled mind ... passion simply makes success that much more glorious - to see an idea you love take shape and come to fruition is a fantastic thing. It takes more than passion to do right by your creative mind, and I hope I've got all the other things it takes. My passion doesn't seem to be enough these days.
posted by Dave at 11:12:00 PM
1 Comments:
It is with our passions as it is with fire and water; they are good servants, but bad masters.
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