Seeking Stability
It seems I can never get by with only one part of my life crumbling down at a time. Last year, I left school and had to figure out the whole "rest of your life" thing, all while dealing with losing my boyfriend of three years. Now, I've attempted to reset myself along the career path I should be on by leaving my well-paying and ultimately mind wracking IT job ... only to find that I have again lost a boyfriend at the exact moment I needed someone to help me stabilize myself.
I suppose the good thing is that now I have to deal with this shit on my own. Dive head first into the thick of it. If I can make it out of this alright, I can deal with all the other things that life will throw at me. If I can't, I'll be moving back to Maryland at the end of the month. Keep watching to see if I start packing my boxes and bags.
*Edit - 12:03PM*
I feel compelled to add to this post that I don't harbor any ill feelings towards either of the people mentioned above. In the words of Sting:
You can't control an independent heart
Can't tear the one you love apart
I will say that I have had the good fortune of keeping one of these people as a friend. I intend to do the same with the other person.
This was never meant as a forum for me to communicate with anyone else. It was simply a place where I could easily catalog my thoughts and feelings from day-to-day. It just happened to be a diary with an easy publishing and file retrieval system. That others might read it never really bothered me, but it wasn't my intention to make this a news feed for any of my distant friends or relatives to keep up-to-date with my life.
What I'm saying is, I know that everyone is there for me right now, and I appreciate any comforting sentiments that anyone might want to leave here. But I'd rather not see the generic "bash the dumper" consolation that really isn't helpful at all. No one is too good for anyone. No one deserves anything better. And I don't want to know if you didn't like anyone from the start anyway. Like I said, these people remain my friends and I intend to keep it that way.
Sometimes shit just doesn't work out. And that's all you can expect as an answer.
I suppose the good thing is that now I have to deal with this shit on my own. Dive head first into the thick of it. If I can make it out of this alright, I can deal with all the other things that life will throw at me. If I can't, I'll be moving back to Maryland at the end of the month. Keep watching to see if I start packing my boxes and bags.
*Edit - 12:03PM*
I feel compelled to add to this post that I don't harbor any ill feelings towards either of the people mentioned above. In the words of Sting:
You can't control an independent heart
Can't tear the one you love apart
I will say that I have had the good fortune of keeping one of these people as a friend. I intend to do the same with the other person.
This was never meant as a forum for me to communicate with anyone else. It was simply a place where I could easily catalog my thoughts and feelings from day-to-day. It just happened to be a diary with an easy publishing and file retrieval system. That others might read it never really bothered me, but it wasn't my intention to make this a news feed for any of my distant friends or relatives to keep up-to-date with my life.
What I'm saying is, I know that everyone is there for me right now, and I appreciate any comforting sentiments that anyone might want to leave here. But I'd rather not see the generic "bash the dumper" consolation that really isn't helpful at all. No one is too good for anyone. No one deserves anything better. And I don't want to know if you didn't like anyone from the start anyway. Like I said, these people remain my friends and I intend to keep it that way.
Sometimes shit just doesn't work out. And that's all you can expect as an answer.
posted by Dave at 11:57:00 AM
3 Comments:
/hugs
:)
I don't know if I should be flattered that you tend to quote me or if I should charge...
I'll just be flattered I guess. You're just as broke as me so it's ain't like I'm going to be getting any water from that stone.
How very true that shit just don't work sometimes (couldn't have said it bett.....wait a minute...) But like me, you're old enough to know what went wrong and young enough to fix it. I mean, hell, we're still just babies! It'll happen, it'll all work out in the end. And before you ask me how, I don't know. It's a mystery.
I was asked recently if I ever get tired of your drama... :) I told this person yes, all the time. They asked if I would ever stop. That made me laugh! I told them that with all the shit I've thrown at you and that you've dealt with from me that listening to you is the least I could do. That you were my best friend and that I loved you with all I have. And always will. No matter what happens in your life, I'll always be there to laugh at you! Wait...no I meant to laugh with you..yea...and for you to lean on me... You know by now that I won't always understand and I won't always agree, but I will always be there.
Love ya
I don't know if anyone can find you as agreeable as I do, Angi. Even when we disagree.
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