Steel
"The strongest steel goes through the hottest fire," as the saying goes. I know I am not a perfect person - no one can be (regardless of what Dan or Angi have to say about it). But I feel like I improve with regularity - a consistency of personal growth that makes me feel like my life has meaning even in those times when I can't figure out my purpose.
With every failure, I try to find a lesson in defeat. I try to figure out what went wrong, what my weaknesses are, and how to fix them so that I don't fail again.
Relationships have been my biggest failing, despite having put such immense effort forth in them. And I know the reason.
It wouldn't surprise her to find that my greatest weakness is one that Angi has warned me of for years, though it might surprise her to hear me say it myself: I neglect my own needs. I have immense pride in who I am, and I have a very strong awareness of myself, but I frequently put the needs of others over my own.
I would wager that if you scoured this blog, you'd find similar revelations at other trying moments in my life. This isn't a new discovery. Nor are the promises to help myself new, either. I do not follow through on my commitments to myself. Because, too often, I fall into the same pattern of "superhero syndrome" - flying off to rescue someone else before I've built my own proper foundation on which to stand.
It's no surprise then that when things get rough, my relationships struggle. When neither person has built their own strong base, our life together is destined to fail.
"And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand." - Matthew 7:26
2011 has not yet shown itself to be the best year for me. But I feel there is potential in it, and in me to make it a great year.
I thank my friends and family, who have been so supportive of me, to prod me when I appear apathetic to my task at hand - building myself a life worthy of the energy I've spent these last ten years. I am establishing for myself a 100-day plan that is intended to result in a better quality of life for myself.
I can accomplish it, if I focus on building my own solid foundation. When the time is right, after I've built a life for myself, then I can focus on building a greater one with someone else.
Today is for me.
With every failure, I try to find a lesson in defeat. I try to figure out what went wrong, what my weaknesses are, and how to fix them so that I don't fail again.
Relationships have been my biggest failing, despite having put such immense effort forth in them. And I know the reason.
It wouldn't surprise her to find that my greatest weakness is one that Angi has warned me of for years, though it might surprise her to hear me say it myself: I neglect my own needs. I have immense pride in who I am, and I have a very strong awareness of myself, but I frequently put the needs of others over my own.
I would wager that if you scoured this blog, you'd find similar revelations at other trying moments in my life. This isn't a new discovery. Nor are the promises to help myself new, either. I do not follow through on my commitments to myself. Because, too often, I fall into the same pattern of "superhero syndrome" - flying off to rescue someone else before I've built my own proper foundation on which to stand.
It's no surprise then that when things get rough, my relationships struggle. When neither person has built their own strong base, our life together is destined to fail.
"And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand." - Matthew 7:26
2011 has not yet shown itself to be the best year for me. But I feel there is potential in it, and in me to make it a great year.
I thank my friends and family, who have been so supportive of me, to prod me when I appear apathetic to my task at hand - building myself a life worthy of the energy I've spent these last ten years. I am establishing for myself a 100-day plan that is intended to result in a better quality of life for myself.
I can accomplish it, if I focus on building my own solid foundation. When the time is right, after I've built a life for myself, then I can focus on building a greater one with someone else.
Today is for me.
posted by Dave at 11:13:00 AM
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