My God, What Have I Done?

Apparently, I have done something that has greatly displeased Our Lord. He saw fit again to lure me into the open with sunshine and warm air, only to turn around after a short while and drown me in a flood that puts to shame Noah's little bathtime romp.

Seriously, if I thought I was wet yesterday, I was swimming on dry land today. I was wet in places I hadn't imagined could get wet while fully clothed. I, of course, mean the little cracks between your toes. What did you think I was talking about? But one might think to see me walking into the lobby of our apartment that I had swam back to Jersey City across the Hudson. The only give away that I hadn't was that my flesh wasn't rotting and I didn't smell of sewage. No, instead I smelled of hair wax or sculpting wax or whatever the hell the stuff is that I put in my hair.

If anyone out there can commune with God, please ask him what I can do to end this torrential rain that seems to seek me out only at times when I think not to bring an umbrella or, at the least, a hooded jacket. If I can thank Him for anything, though, my hair looks really cool when it's wet. Like supermodel sexy.

Can I get an Amen?