Good Writing, Great Writing

A week or so ago, I was watching an episode of one of the Law & Order shows and a criminal had shot up a room full of school children believing that a backfiring car was the police firing on him. When the cops made it into the room, I was shocked to see the bloody bodies of the fifteen 10-year olds. It was something that made me very uncomfortable and slightly distressed. William asked why I was so affected by it - after all, it was only television.

Not for me. To me, it was good writing at work.

I've always been very attuned to the power of storytelling. Great lyrics in a song can be moving; written words properly composed can leave you with bated breath; and an actor following a good script can bring tears to your eyes. For me, all these things are all the more effective.

However, it didn't occur to me until tonight just how powerful great writing really is when it comes to that which I enjoy. I've been watching the first season of The West Wing (again!), and the first season ends with an assassination attempt. The first ten minutes of the second season, however, is where the real emotional payoff comes.

As the show is almost 8 years old now, I have no qualms about spoiling the season premiere of the Emmy-winning show's second season. However, I will say, if you haven't watched it - maybe add the third disc of the first season and the first disc of the second season to your Netflix queue and watch the first season cliff hanger and the second season premiere back-to-back.

The writing in those first few seasons was so amazing that the connections you create to the characters are so strong that when you come back to the location of the shooting and you hear the panic in C.J.'s voice as she asks if the President is dead, you begin to panic with her, even though you know that he's alive in the limo that is on its way back to the White House. When you discover that the President has been shot, you sense the urgency with which the (very well trained) limo driver pulls a U-turn at what's gotta be 60 MPH to send it heading back towards the hospital. But more so, you sense the desperation and fear with which Toby cries out for a doctor when he discovers that Josh has been shot.

Damn ... that's not good writing. That's great writing.

Is it great writing because it's so visceral? It's any "action" sequence - it rides on the adrenaline-fulled emotion of seeing two "bad guys" shoot at a "President." It's television. Maybe.

If you watched the show from the start (or rather, I should say, if you watch the show from the start, as it's no longer on the air), you will have built an emotional connection to the characters. Are you upset because a person got shot? No. You're upset because a good guy who does good things was shot. It's not upsetting because of the act; it's upsetting because the victim was a friend.

That's not good writing. That's great writing.

My Fucked Up Friend, Shaun

So, I rediscovered one of the things that led me to believe Shaun would make a great friend back in my first year at NYU. A short film he made during our semester in Sight & Sound: Film. People often ask (actually, they never ask), "What are your friends like?" I would point to a film like this, but I realize that it's only Shaun who's this fucked up. And yet, his sense of humor has a darkness to it with which I can associate. Fucked up and hilarious at the same time.

To Catch A Hypocrite

I just caught about three minutes of the MSNBC show, "To Catch A Predator," with Chris Hansen. I'll have to be honest, I'm absolutely appalled. However, my anger is not at the deviants caught in the act (or, rather, I should say, entrapped in the precursor to "the act"). It's with the show itself. Such a program is exploitative - or, rather, sexploitative - using the target audience's inherent desire to hear about sex AND supplying them with a healthy outlet for condemnation of criminally ill members of society.

This shouldn't be construed as a case for allowing perverts to prey upon vulnerable youth; that's not my intention at all. It's simply my belief that, while these people are dangerous and need to be rehabilitated or punished (as fits whatever crime of which they may eventually be convicted), we have to ensure that they are protected from exploitation, too.

An Occurrence Not Marked By a Particular Passage of Time

I find that, when I'm happy, I find my way here with less frequency. I would question whether it's because I find writing here to be a therapy of sorts or whether my writing is simply borne of a strange sense of sadness and despair. Either way, I occasionally find my way back just to remind the people who come here routinely that I'm still alive.

I have started writing again - fiction, that is - and I've found that, as before, my creativity comes easily some days and excruciatingly painful on others (much like trying to pass a kidney stone the size of an Advil, I'd imagine). Ah, creativity - the occasional kidney stone of the mind. Other times, it's that enjoyable shiver that runs down your spine as you let loose your bladder after holding it through the whole movie. Too descriptive in a vulgar sense?

Never mind.

To speak more of my writing, I'm working on several things concurrently - a spec comic book script, a television drama and the occasional random idea in other media. As strange as it is, I've found that it's very easy for me to suddenly devote hours to working on one project only after frustratingly spending as much time failing to write a single good idea with another. Perhaps, here, my ADHD becomes less a liability and more an asset. My odd mental pacing generally relieves me very soon after becoming frustrated with my work, allowing me to walk away from it before I write ten pages of absolute rubbish which I will subsequently need to go back and re-write (and re-write, and re-write, and re-write...).

It's 3:40 and I'm no longer sleeping on a regular schedule. I've resumed a rather primarily-nocturnal lifestyle which, fortunately, is conducive to my writing habits, while at the same time, unfortunately, works against my necessary job hunt (and eventual daily work routine).

The thoughts in my mind have begun to echo in that way that they do when you're near to unbearable sleepiness, my breathing irregularly regular and deep. Sometimes, I feel I say so much here, and realize I've said so little. These posts, occurrences not marked by any particular passage of time, feel so incomplete and out of place to me ...

Much like I feel from day-to-day. I feel incomplete ... potential unfulfilled ...

Quote of the Day

This was not a spoken quote, but rather a line from an e-mail sent to me back in 2005. In it, my friend Kent was giving me notes on a fantasy script I was writing at the time. The note is on a specific line of dialog, apparently something involving "grave danger."

16 - "Grave danger." There has to be a better way to say this. Oh, did Chris or I ever tell you about "Grave Danger?" It's a zombie movie we conceptualized where a group of people trying to escape a zombie holocaust hide out in a graveyard, since all the zombies have left already. We'll never write it, thank God. Anyway.

This is a great note, but there are a few more worth putting on here. In fact, this is no longer "Quote of the Day," it's "Script Notes of the Day."

22 - Please don't use the word "nay."

24 - Production designer: "Shit, we have to build a city now?"
Dave: "You want that fucking Oscar, don't you?"

- Good stuff. It certainly holds your interest, and you have an excellent sense of how long a scene should be. So many fucking scripts have these scenes that go on for pages and pages, while their writers boldly explore the limits of my attention span.

Graduation Cards

Ok, so I'm trying to clean up the mess that is my room and I stumbled across the graduation cards I received last year. Among them were cards from two of the people whom I count among my closest friends and confidants.

One is a bad joke with a single written line: "Come what may ..."

The other is a modified Bar Mitzvah card, tailored to the rather different occasion of my graduation. When I saw it, I started laughing and crying at the same time.

They remind me that, no matter how alone I feel (and frequently I feel quite alone), I will always have friends. I'm pretty sure these people know who they are - they read my blog regularly.

Thanks guys! :-)

By the Way, It's Just Worth Noting ...

I'll kill someone for Police tickets. Any show to which I can get. Hershey? MSG? Point me in the direction of the person you want eliminated, send me the tickets and they're gone.

Seriously, though, I wanna see the Police more than any other group this summer. So if anyone has a spare ticket and wants to see them with someone who'll thoroughly enjoy the show, just, you know, lemme know. ;-)

Damn, Boy, Where You Been?

Quote of the Day

Me: What would you do if you knew you only had a year to live?
Shaun: Kill my enemies.
Me: ...

So, Here's the Plan

Ok, several details factoring in here:

1. I'm not certain what type of writing out of which I want to make a career. However, I can write anywhere.
2. New York is expensive and I have debts to pay. However, if I find the right job, it can pay the bills.
3. I don't want to work in an office. I want to write.
4. I want to live with friends, but I don't have any who are either a) looking for for a new apartment or b) looking for a new apartment AND want to live with me. This is to my disadvantage.
5. I have a lot of good days here in Manhattan ... at least as many as the bad days. I do better in the summer anyway, so it's to my benefit that the spring is coming upon us. I can postpone any regional displacement decisions for another few months.

So, basically, here's how I see it:

As the weather changes, so too does my attitude and general mood. I'll enjoy New York more throughout the summer, especially if I find a place to live somewhere closer to people my age. So I need to move out and preferably further south on the island. I get a job as a waiter or bartender (I've done it before and I can do it again), pay my bills, and have more free time during which I can write. In September, I can decide if I want to move - to Maryland or to Los Angeles. This is in line with the time line I set when I moved back into Manhattan. I gave myself a year to test the waters here. If I didn't like it, I would leave. Maryland is a place to recuperate and re-energize, then I find my way from there. This gives me six months. I think that's plenty of time to find my way again.

I also have a few guidelines for the next six months:

1. I have to find and maintain a job. The reality is that, while I may not want an office job, I need A job.
2. No frivolous purchases - no HDTVs, no stereo equipment, no gaming consoles, no computer components. I have all of those already, so there should be no single item over $60 I "need" to buy.
3. I have to write for at least an hour every day. The goal is to get myself back in the groove and make it to three hours every day.

I think if I hold to these standards, I can get myself back into the swing of things and recapture the person I was before I came to NYU (and became apathetic towards fulfilling my lifelong dreams).

I've set one more guideline for myself for these six months, though. I won't actively seek a new boyfriend. If I come across something, I'll see how it plays out, but the next six months are about ME.


We'll see where I'm at in September.

*Edit* 1:16AM

Angi, Dan, and Kate - When are you fuckers gonna come visit me? I have no roommate until April 27th. Don't wait until the last minute, goddammit! Get yer asses up here NOW!

Is It Time?

I have been wondering lately where I want to be and what I want to do. Now that I'm untethered from life in New York, I have the opportunity to do the things I've wanted to do all my life.

I think it might be time for me to move to California.

It's a scary thought, leaving behind everything I know for someplace completely different, but I think it may be what I need to do. I will need to pit stop in MD for a little while to bank up some money. It would actually be more convenient that way. I could pay down my immediate debts and, since I'd be living next to an airport, I would be able to easily fly out if I had to interview for a position in California.

I'm not sure. New York has felt like home to me for the past four years. I haven't really missed living in Maryland at all since moving here. But New York is, for me, a place to share with someone you love - friends or a significant other. I get no joy in being alone here. And that's how I feel. This is an amazing city, but right now, for me, it's nothing but a labyrinth of buildings that hides the sun and makes everyone look smaller.

Seeking Stability

It seems I can never get by with only one part of my life crumbling down at a time. Last year, I left school and had to figure out the whole "rest of your life" thing, all while dealing with losing my boyfriend of three years. Now, I've attempted to reset myself along the career path I should be on by leaving my well-paying and ultimately mind wracking IT job ... only to find that I have again lost a boyfriend at the exact moment I needed someone to help me stabilize myself.

I suppose the good thing is that now I have to deal with this shit on my own. Dive head first into the thick of it. If I can make it out of this alright, I can deal with all the other things that life will throw at me. If I can't, I'll be moving back to Maryland at the end of the month. Keep watching to see if I start packing my boxes and bags.

*Edit - 12:03PM*

I feel compelled to add to this post that I don't harbor any ill feelings towards either of the people mentioned above. In the words of Sting:

You can't control an independent heart
Can't tear the one you love apart

I will say that I have had the good fortune of keeping one of these people as a friend. I intend to do the same with the other person.

This was never meant as a forum for me to communicate with anyone else. It was simply a place where I could easily catalog my thoughts and feelings from day-to-day. It just happened to be a diary with an easy publishing and file retrieval system. That others might read it never really bothered me, but it wasn't my intention to make this a news feed for any of my distant friends or relatives to keep up-to-date with my life.

What I'm saying is, I know that everyone is there for me right now, and I appreciate any comforting sentiments that anyone might want to leave here. But I'd rather not see the generic "bash the dumper" consolation that really isn't helpful at all. No one is too good for anyone. No one deserves anything better. And I don't want to know if you didn't like anyone from the start anyway. Like I said, these people remain my friends and I intend to keep it that way.

Sometimes shit just doesn't work out. And that's all you can expect as an answer.

Just Because It's Funny

Saw this and felt like sharing:

How Do You Respond to This?

Ann Coulter: Discriminatory Cunt?

Yes, I used the c-word. Watch the clip and it will probably be the first thing out of your mouth. When you hear something like that, you have to begin to think that mature discourse is out of the question. You can't respond in a civil manner when someone says what she did.

After allowing my boiling blood to cool, I watched the clip again and realized, "Oh yeah, it's Ann Coulter. She's an insufferable bitch and a complete moron. What else could we expect?"

Like that other loony nutcase, Jack Thompson, there's no way that this dirty slut can actually believe any of the shit that spews out of her mouth. I think they just say the things they do to get attention. It'd be nice if she got a little more positive attention: like a stalker or something. Not to rape or kill her or anything ... just bludgeon her with a gigantic steel dildo until she's a drooling vegetable who can't spell her own name.

What? I think it'd be great for her. Then she wouldn't be able to embarrass herself in public, even if she continually and frequently shit her pants. There's no comparison to pointing out how much of an ignorant bigot you are in front of a bank of cameras broadcasting your comments to millions of people around the country.

Update: 8:57PM

Apparently Joe Solmonese, President of HRC, was better able to find an appropriate response to Ann's disgraceful comment. I agree with his demand completely: the 2008 GOP candidates need to distance themselves from this type of political warfare. Americans are nothing but disgusted by anyone who uses slurs and epithets to attract attention to their beliefs, even if they are consistent with their own.

They won't beat Obama by calling him a "nigger," they won't beat Richardson by calling him a "wetback," and they won't beat Hillary by calling her a "cunt." Well ... maybe they can beat Hillary that way, but I think I've otherwise made my point. Using such an insufferably nasty piece of language to describe an amazing American who has done much more for this country than she could ever even HOPE to do has shown Ann Coulter for what she is: a sad sensationalist. Shame Senator Edwards isn't really gay ... he's the best looking presidential candidate since JFK.