Principles

A friend of mine used to say, "Your principles only mean something if you stand by them when they're inconvenient." What principles are worth standing by, though? Are they fluid? Can they change from instance to instance?

I have always believed in being loyal to your employer. I don't know why, but I have. From the moment a company hires me, I develop an attachment to it that makes me want to do two things: a) do well and b) never leave. The relationships that certain companies foster come from the offset - companies I stay with for long periods of time are companies that welcomed me into the fold from as early as the interviewing process; by contrast, any company I stay with for less than a month is usually a company that didn't welcome me too greatly or treat me like one of their own.

The latter category includes only one company to date: Home Depot. I think, though, that at the time, my leaving had more to do with my feeling as though I didn't belong there. The company was a good company, the people were good people, but I didn't belong there. And now, I have that same feeling with Starbucks. The company is great, the people are fantastic ... but I don't feel like I belong. I'm the odd man out - and that's not really an understatement. By contrast to the other employees, I'm at least a head and a half taller than everyone.

You know, people have told me that I should get a job because I need money. People have told me that I'm "lazy." I've been seeking work for almost a year now. I've applied at about 15-20 restaurants alone since last July. I've applied at three retail stores, including Starbucks. But there's only been one place I've wanted to work: Chilis. Corn, the training manager, gave me his assurance just a few days ago that I would be hired within a month (they're currently weeding out the 'bad' employees). And while they've been jerking me around for three months solid now, for some reason, I believe that statement. I believe he means to hire me by the end of April.

Which means that now I face a crisis of principle: Do I leave Starbucks before I waste more of their time (and they more of mine) or do I wait until I talk with Corn again about setting up training? If I called him tomorrow and talked to him about coming in before the end of the month, do I quit then, or do I wait? Should I give two weeks notice, or quit now, since I am still a trainee?

None of this takes into account my busy school schedule. By far, the biggest issue I have with work in general is that it interferes with school. I have a presentation on Same-Sex Marriage to make on Tuesday for a discussion panel, but I don't have a presentation planned. I have an incomplete to earn a grade for from last semester, but no time to do volunteer work or plan out a paper as a substitution. I have a film shoot in 6 weeks, no set location, no budget, no loans, no cast. I have more shit to do than I really have time for, and now I'm spending my weekends working at Starbucks? I don't even drink coffee anymore, dammit!

What do I do? What should I do?

Above all, my films come first. This is my future, and I do nothing to jeopardize it.
After that, my schoolwork comes next.
Finally, my creative work - my screenwriting - is very important.

Beyond those, I know I need money and I know I need time to relax. So, what do I do?

To me, the answer is painfully obvious: despite my monetary needs, there are greater needs - needs for my future. Already my schoolwork and film work are suffering. I think I may have to quit working at Starbucks.

Old Habits

Old habits die hard, they say. Indeed, this is true.

The last time I had a Mountain Dew was in June of 2003. That's a pretty good streak to maintain, almost two years. But alas, I found that some urges are hard to suppress for so long. Feeling that no harm could be done in having one, the other night, while working downstairs in the common room, I treated myself to a Mountain Dew.

I was downstairs earlier this evening, again writing furiously, and treated myself to another Mountain Dew. Between the two, I've felt no compulsion to drink more - I think that my Dew drought broke my addiction.

I think that now I can enjoy a Mountain Dew while writing, and I think I'll leave it at that. Like the one cigarrette that one artist allows theirself while working, I too will allow myself one vice - a single bottle of Mountain Dew. I'd say that's fair, right?

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So, I was in class today and we read a script that included a reference to the song "The Cat Came Back." I immediately downloaded it upon coming home, remembering the animated short of the same name that I saw many years ago based on and including the folk song. Now, I realize that I must have a copy of that short. I saw a sleeved DVD version of it in Suncoast a while back and didn't think to buy it then - now I absolutely MUST have it. And I can't find it anywhere online.

So I ask this of you all: IF YOU COME ACROSS A DVD COPY OF "THE CAT CAME BACK," BY CORDELL BARKER, PLEASE PURCHASE IT AND I WILL REIMBURSE YOU. At this point, I'll pay up to $20 for the DVD and the cost of shipping. If you come across it while shopping - at Best Buy, Suncoast, wherever you go - purchase it and I will buy it back from you. Thanks much to all of you for simply keeping your eyes peeled!

Vote Now

Vote now with Comments: Coolest Fight/Chase/Cavalry Scene

A. Back to the Future - Libyans Chasing Marty in the Parking Lot ("Let's see if you bastards can do 90!")
B. Gone in 60 Seconds - "Eleanor" Chase Scene, End of the Movie ("120 ... 160 ... he's gone")
C. Independence Day - Finally Aerial Assault Over Nevada ("Wait, I want another shot ...")
D. Fellowship of the Rings - Escape to the Bridge at Khazad-Dum
E. Return of the King - The Rohirrim Arrive, Cavalry Charge
F. Mask of Zorro - Any Fight Scene, Really
G. Return of the Jedi - Luke/Vader Duel, Space Battle
H. The Terminator - T100 Chasing Sarah Conner in the Factory

Use the comments section to leave your vote, I need them by Thursday.

Taking a Page from Ms. Rowling

So to speak. Jo said she prefers writing in coffee houses or cafes - crowded places where she can disappear into her work. Figuring that perhaps the tiny confines of my apartment were no good, I went down to our large common room earlier this evening. Our large and unused common room. I spent a good three hours downstairs by myself at the large counterspace, my laptop opened and playing some new DMB LiveTrax; a pencil in hand, scribbling furiously the backstory of a sorcerer charged with the task of finding a hidden apprentice and a future king.

When I finished around 12:30, I had completed 5 pages of handwritten notes and had pretty much worked up to the point at which the original Dragonstaff script begins (the Prologue segment). Using this as the beginning of a larger story, I think I can work another seven to ten pages to round out the bulk of the story. I feel rather like I accomplished some great daunting task tonight. Once I flesh this all out, we'll see how everything works out.

First Day at Starbucks

Well, today I started working again. For the first time in almost two years. I haven't had a serious job since I left Garry's Grill before I transferred here to NYU. Let me tell you, working sucks. However, I already feel more empowered by my efforts and more depressed by my shortcomings.

I make $7.50 per hour - starting wage. Even on a shitty day at a restaurant I could make $10 per hour or more. If I work 20 hours a week, I won't make half as much as I would need each month to pay my rent, feed myself, buy new clothes (which I need) and have spending cash leftover.

Simply put, Starbucks won't cut it. Despite my enthusiasm for working there, I need more money than they can offer, which means I'll still need to be looking elsewhere for a restaurant gig. If Chilis hadn't fucked me over with they're pretending to be interested in me, I wouldn't be in this boat. I'd have found another restaurant and have had 8 months to have pestered them into hiring me.

For now, the chump change I'll be making at Starbucks will tide me over, easing some of my credit burden and allowing me to, at the least, have more money for some of the things I need now.

However, for now:

Nothing splendid was ever achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to the circumstance.

Also, it is good to note that J. K. Rowling was on unemployment when she was writing Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. It's nice to think that, should I be able to take the seed of an idea and help it blossom and grow into something beautiful and interesting, my labors may be rewarded after a time. Then again, Vincent Van Gogh was poor and crazy when he died, and it was only after he departed from this world that his work was considered valuable.

Boy that must suck.

Neck Pain

Indeed, my neck hurts quite a bit now, having spent most of the past 13 hours immersed in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Stopping only for lunch and dinner (and occasional bathroom breaks), I started reading around 2 o'clock this afternoon and concluded only moments ago. My entire spring break was spent reading Harry Potter books.




I wish I had at least been on a cruise while I was doing it.

I'm Amazed Sometimes

You know, back in November, I had this gut-wrenching fear that our country would slip into some type of grand decay, sliding into a hellish nightmare of far right religious conservatism - us led by zealots like George W. Bush. The fear nearly overshadowed my hopes that this country was still a place of freedom and tolerance.

But it didn't overshadow my hope - we still believe in freedom and tolerance.

California joins the fight.

Yes, indeed. Today, California joined the ranks of New York, New Jersey and Washington as a state with a successful lower court ruling that the state in question could not prohibit same-sex marriage on the basis that "that's how it's always been." With outlooks bright in New York and New Jersey for similar rulings at the state Supreme Court level, equality may soon be imparted upon all Americans in these states.

Post-Apocalyptic Brooklyn

As if portions of that borough didn't already appear as though they had been exposed to a post-nuclear war future ...

I spent nine hours last night on Krisztian's shoot - his color-sync film, Noise. We were at the Brooklyn Naval Yard. It was cold. It was wet. I'm fairly certainI've gone over this before, but if there are any two things I hate, it's being cold and being wet. And being cold and wet is worse. I was cold and wet by the end of last night. I had been standing so long by the time we had dinner (12:30AM), that my muscles ached from the cold and I could barely bend at the joints. The shoot was sort of fun, though ... I got to play a prison guard in a post-apocalyptic world.

The spread the caterers put on was fantastic, too. Salad, Pasta, Chicken, these wonderful green beans. Mmmm .... mouth is watering just thinking about that food.

I was up for 21 hours yesterday. 9 or which were spent in the cold on the water pretending to be an evil prison guard, wearing jeans and UnderArmour (which works well enough when you have other things over it, but isn't completely warming when it's working by itself). I got home at 4, was in bed by 4:20, woke up at 2 and I still feel tired.

Get Shorty

I just finished watching Get Shorty and now I absolutely must see Be Cool. The writing in the film was just fantastic. If I could write something half as funny as that, I'd feel like I'd accomplished a fantastic feat of screenwriting. Now that I've finally nailed down my advanced script to where I like it, I suppose working on a larger project may be possible. The only problem is that I'm working on a feature-length script for Dev and I have two papers that are overdue. So I suppose it's time for me to write at least one of them ...

The Universe Laughs At Me

In a fashion typical of this mocking universe, Fate has decreed that the only time I should write anything good is when JJ is not here. I suppose, now, this means that I'm going to have to send him on trips to Ohio every time I need to write something. That's really not gonna work. I think the universe needs to rethink this scenario. Thankfully, however, in the mean time I HAVE finished up some writing - 31 pages of a new draft of my advanced script, 26 following the rewrite. That is a fantastic accomplishment for me. I don't think I've ever churned out something I've been so pleased with, aside from the first thirty pages of Dragonstaff.

I'm noticing now that, for some reason, the bold and italicize commands aren't working, so I'm gonna stop writing ... because, why bother writing if you can't italicize the important things?

*sigh*

With JJ gone for a week, I've got plenty of time to sit and write. And write I shall. Words, words, words. So many available, yet, the order in which I present them must be in some way different from that which others have presented them. There is the hard part ...

Hopefully, God willing, Chilis will be holding a training session in the next week or so and I will be able to go to work. If not, I'm seriously considering Starbucks, as Kate has insurance and I do not. I need money and I need insurance. Money will suffice, but insurance would be nice. We'll see how things work out.

It's quiet here ... a little too quiet.

Anonymity is a Crime

Before I post my IM conversation to Kent, who was away at the time, I will preface the one-sided discussion with this note: the script in reference is my science-fantasy action film which I'm writing for a Developing the Screenplay. Also, I will boldface the quote from the anonymous classmate so as not to confuse you at the points where I interjected my own thoughts.

RoamingJoker: I'm tired of pretentious film students reading Syd Field and telling everyone else how to 'properly' format their scripts
RoamingJoker: I write my own way, and if you don't like it, don't read my fucking script
RoamingJoker: You know?
RoamingJoker: So one person in Dev, who didn't attach their name to the copy of my script they gave back to me wrote this about Narabin:
RoamingJoker: "Dave, admittedly, this type of film isn't my cup of tea." - see, fucking pretentious condescending bastard assclown film student
RoamingJoker: "Dave, admittedly, this type of film isn't my cup of tea. In my opinion, this script sample is filled with so many cliches of the genre that it's hard for me to take it seriously." - something tells me they weren't going to take it fucking seriously anyway - "I think that there are far too many characters. In addition, they are caricatures and I cannot relate at all with them." - they fly fucking fighter jets and you drink frappa-fucking-cinos, fuck how well you relate to them - "There is too much of an emphasis on action -" - it's a fucking action film, shithead - "it's the people who make movies interesting and make the audience care."
RoamingJoker: I wish I could write an open letter response to the class for this, but since they already think I'm a little off-key, I'd rather not let them think I'm a psychotic bastard. However, this type of shit pisses me off. People hiding behind a veil of anonymity - even in a class of 15 people.


You know, people have said that I don't take criticism well. That's not true at all. I take criticism very well - when you come up to me and tell me what you think face to face. But when you write your notes on a piece of paper and don't sign your name, well, then I'm entitled to think that a person who uses condescending language - indeed even a cliche phrase - to describe why they won't like my script off the bat ... well, you can go fuck yourself and then you can go fuck your mother.